Seldom at a loss for words.


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*A WHOLE NOTHER THING:
A selection of words from my vast vocabulary, including the ubiquitous "the," the always versatile "and," and the more obscure "incontrovertible," arranged in frequently meaningful, sometimes profound, yet often pedestrian sentences and statements, designed with one goal in mind-- that being, to communicate; keeping in mind the oft-used bromide, "Never use two words when one will do the same job as two or more words would have done, unless you just want to take up space and sound important," which is, I must concede, too often a secret objective of mine indeed. And yet, now, the secret is out.




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Friday, December 16, 2005

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK; try another cup ...just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off
floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you
can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't
forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!


link | posted by Matt Norquist at 12/16/2005 08:42:00 PM |


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