Seldom at a loss for words.


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*A WHOLE NOTHER THING:
A selection of words from my vast vocabulary, including the ubiquitous "the," the always versatile "and," and the more obscure "incontrovertible," arranged in frequently meaningful, sometimes profound, yet often pedestrian sentences and statements, designed with one goal in mind-- that being, to communicate; keeping in mind the oft-used bromide, "Never use two words when one will do the same job as two or more words would have done, unless you just want to take up space and sound important," which is, I must concede, too often a secret objective of mine indeed. And yet, now, the secret is out.




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Saturday, August 05, 2006

Low Thyroid!

Yes, the time has come. I am officially OLD. How do I know? Because I have LOW THYROID! Oh man, that is so exciting! It's like the ultimate in maladies!

I mean, how many times have you been sitting at the laundromat, watching the clothes spin in the glass window of the dryer, and the overweight woman sitting beside you turns to you and says, "I have low thyroid."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. My doctor has me on thyroid pills."

"I see."

It's almost a parody of itself! It's just perfect! What a conversation starter!

Anyway, it's also a great excuse for just about anything. "I'd be happy to help you move next weekend, but... I have low thyroid." Or, "I really should balance my checkbook, but... I have low thyroid." Or, here's one that I plan on using A LOT: "I really should eat better, but my doctor says I have low thyroid."

Yep, that's me!


link | posted by Matt Norquist at 8/05/2006 10:19:00 AM |


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